3/22/2006

小說vs電影vs歌詞

每天工作時都縱橫四海,導致越來越遲完成工作,依然沒有時間寫我的Brokeback Mountain觀後感,也好的,報章由天天「華人之光」及「斷背」,到「逼宮」及「兵變」,到「魔警」,相信Brokeback Mountain已經「out」了,終於可以讓感覺沉澱。

在未能騰出一兩個小時來完成Brokeback Mountain觀後感前(不是因為有很多東西寫,是因為筆者的打字速度很慢,所以才需要那麼多時間),只好先扯開話題。


這是片中其中一幕的劇照,這幕的前一幕,是Ennis和Jack二人在湖邊,你一句「I wish I knew how to quit you.」、我一句「Well, why don't you?」。激烈的對話後,鏡頭一轉,便回到二人以往在Brokeback Mountain上的溫馨片段。

話說在戲院看到這一節時,覺得那調子是很浪漫的,起初是二人的近鏡,Ennis從背後擁著Jack,在他耳邊輕輕地哼著小曲,哼著哼著,鏡頭便變成了遠鏡,彷彿是時間凝住了。還有當Ennis要趕著去看羊,策馬離去時,Jack看著他離去時那情意綿綿的眼神,實在教人動容。

看完電影後,翻看了原著小說,看到了這一節時,把小說的描述和電影的畫面交融後,更覺窩心:
(這段跟片中一樣,緊接著Ennis在湖邊崩潰那一場)
「What Jack remembered and craved in a way he could neither help nor understand was the time that distant summer on Brokeback when Ennis had come up behind him and pulled him close, the silent embrace satisfying some shared and sexless hunger.     
They had stood that way for a long time in front of the fire, its burning tossing ruddy chunks of light, the shadow of their bodies a single column against the rock. The minutes ticked by from the round watch in Ennis's pocket, from the sticks in the fire settling into coals. Stars bit through the wavy heat layers above the fire. Ennis's breath came slow and quiet, he hummed, rocked a little in the sparklight and Jack leaned against the steady heartbeat, the vibrations of the humming like faint electricity and, standing, he fell into sleep that was not sleep but something else drowsy and tranced until Ennis, dredging up a rusty but still useable phrase from the childhood time before his mother died, said, "Time to hit the hay, cowboy. I got a go. Come on, you're sleepin on your feet like a horse," and gave Jack a shake, a push, and went off in the darkness. Jack heard his spurs tremble as he mounted, the words "see you tomorrow," and the horse's shuddering snort, grind of hoof on stone.     
Later, that dozy embrace solidified in his memory as the single moment of artless, charmed happiness in their separate and difficult lives. Nothing marred it, even the knowledge that Ennis would not then embrace him face to face because he did not want to see nor feel that it was Jack he held. And maybe, he thought, they'd never got much farther than that. Let be, let be. 」

那句「Later, that dozy embrace solidified in his memory as the single moment of artless, charmed happiness in their separate and difficult lives.」,令筆者窩心了好幾天。看了此片的人都知道,他們在偷情的那廿年內聚少離多,Jack心裡極是難受,但這段情卻竟然能維繫那麼久,靠的原來是回憶。在分隔兩地的難捱日子裡,Jack彷彿是靠回憶這段美好時光維持自己對Ennis的愛。驟聽之下,可能覺得這普通不過,因為人人也懂得回憶。不過,正如同一部愛情片,第一次看覺得很浪漫,到看到第十次,第一百次,會否仍有同樣的感覺呢?把回憶片段在腦海中播了又播,很多人播不了多少次便會生厭,否則為什麼會有情侶無原無故,只因覺得沒「feel」便分手?可以把那個「feel」延續廿年,可想而知那份感覺的份量有多重。

筆者向來都自覺是思想頗傳統的人,Ennis跟Jack之戀情明明不合道德(並非指同性戀方面,而是偷情),但看此故事時,卻失去了道德判斷的理智,而且,一想到Jack廿年來都靠「食老本」來填補二人的感情空白日子,便覺得心有戚戚然。從來吃感情「老本」的,只有分手後自悲自憐的男女,能在仍然相愛但又覺相愛很難的日子「食老本」,回想當初二人因何相戀,顧念舊情,再努力保持那份感覺,努力維繫這段感情,不容易。這段情或許不道德,但至少真誠,當然,真誠是否能抵消不道德,那亦是另一個問題。

近日發覺夕爺有兩首歌的歌詞的感覺,跟片/書中的感覺很像。

節錄自梁漢文的《羅曼蒂克》:
「夜裡有燈 唇上有感 連場劇吻 毫無疑問 就快誕生
一雙友人 全無遺憾 驟變戀人 飄忽的愛 
怦然動心 難道也是純屬氣氛
當 青春發亮時 燒滾的雙耳 也這麼相似 
沒餘力停止 感情何原始 情原來由耳珠開始 
當 青春有限時 怎麼都可以 卻不可報時 
留戀上次 用來點火般燒到下次(是重覆不到的往事)
共處一室 羅曼蒂克 無言共對 遺留沉默 若有所失
交出愛情 償還甜蜜 做對壁人 一早想你 
投懷入骨 前夕降臨 無力說不
但你我亦知 當青春燦爛時 怎麼都可以 永不可以遲 
回憶上次 但求不可惜失去下次 」

基本上大部份歌詞都令筆者想起二人在Brokeback Mountain上,第二晚一起在帳篷內的情境(對,是第二晚,第一晚的感覺太突兀了)。至於「是重覆不到的往事」及「回憶上次 但求不可惜失去下次」,則跟Jack回憶二人過去溫馨時光的感覺很相像。

節錄自楊千嬅的《數你》:
「無奈肉眼看不到 用兩手摸不到 怎麼計算亦難料沉迷程度
同偕到老還餘下多少步 還能捏著你抱緊幾秒鐘擁抱
誰又會知道 憑每下心跳繼續數繼續數
只願延續下去數得到蒼老
想 從洶湧的髮埋逐公分看下去
直到擁抱著沉睡 命與運埋在你手裡
你那些掌紋有多少愛侶 誰願意知道
憑每下心跳繼續數繼續數 數著何時眼淚才能被看到
還能與你再聽幾多音樂 還能伴著你再跳幾世紀的舞
其實我知道 迷上你 一分一秒煎熬 一次傾慕
只願容貌讓我數得到蒼老 一秒煎熬 一寸傾慕
數著何時望到彼此也蒼老」

除了「你那些掌紋有多少愛侶 誰願意知道 」那句不相干外,其餘都彷彿是Jack的心聲,那份等了又等,但依然是無止境地等的煎熬。

其實情歌來來去去也大致相近,只是偶然發覺這兩首跟故事中人吻合而已。

1 comment:

Cecilia said...

次次睇jack 回憶果part(無論小說定電影)都好心酸...一想到jack原來就是靠這段美好的回憶支撐住20年來分離的痛苦...便覺得好感動好悲傷